I hesitate

I don’t know if I am wanting to do this for myself or for you. I so want it to be for you, but I just cannot be sure that my motivations aren’t selfish or futile. I can’t trust myself. So I hesitate. I go back and forth. So many times, I set out to do what I wanted to do, only to give up. I just am not sure if I can keep my selfishness far away enough to protect you. I guess the last thing I want is to hurt you and be hurt myself because of your hurt. So I hesitate. I go back and forth.