Tag: diary
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No wasted efforts
I was utterly disappointed. I did not have enough time to go through everything I had prepared. I put a lot of effort into some things that were not even used. I didn’t want to go home and sulk about it. So I came home, put my heavy bag down and headed out to the…
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cinema at night
Apparently, it is the 10-year anniversary of La La Land this year. I can’t believe it. I remember watching it in uni (when I say uni, it always means pharmacy school, because that’s the real uni to me, the one you went to for the first time) in 2017 when I was a third-year. I…
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Coffee break
I have a cup of coffee each morning. Usually just one. Probably about a double-shot espresso equivalent. But I quit for the last two weeks. Well, almost. I defaulted maybe two times during that period. I do this occasionally to reset. Over time, I had become desensitised to caffeine, so I no longer got as…
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Hi, don’t look at me
I suppose I could speak more clearly and less ambiguously. But doing the opposite of that is more than just a speaking habit to me. It’s my way of life, almost. Deflecting. Avoiding. Hiding. I guess I am still a little scared of being known. That’s okay, I suppose.
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I hesitate
I don’t know if I am wanting to do this for myself or for you. I so want it to be for you, but I just cannot be sure that my motivations aren’t selfish or futile. I can’t trust myself. So I hesitate. I go back and forth. So many times, I set out to…
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On a night I planned to flee
No matter how hard I try, no matter how much I fool myself, I seem to be incapable of coming to You without being a mercenary. Even when I grasp the wonderful Truth and see its blinding and magnificent glory, it flees me like a lightning and eludes me. Even as I realise that You…
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I can’t. But you can
I can’t do any of those things unless You help me. I am absolutely wretched and afflicted. But I do also know this. I do know that You will help me. So when it matters the most, I will be able to see it through. So I can, and I will, even though everything I…
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Change of mind?
I read something I wrote last year. It went something like ‘ I can rely on my desires to motivate me’. I don’t think I have that view anymore. My desires are transient. And sometimes not even ‘good’, in that it might not be the best option for me. I shall rely on something reliable.…
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당신의 양들
나는 여름만 되면 당신을 떠나고 싶다고 하소연하는 글이나 쓰고 있지만, 당신은 참 신실하십니다. 당신의 사랑하는 성도들이 제게 힘이 됩니다. 그들이 주님을 사랑해서, 주님을 알아서, 취하는 태도와 행동들이 저에게 용기를 줍니다. 나를 놓지 마소서. 내가 당신을 더 깊게 알게하시고, 당신에게 더 가까이 있게 하소서.
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5/11/ 2024
In love, and only in love, you can be set free from the selfishness that enslaves you, the callousness that overlooks the needs of others. In love, we trust our God, and in that love, we are freed from the ego and given the gift of sight to see our neighbours and realise how deserving…
