Day 2

I guess I’m not a machine. I can’t just program myself to do things at certain times. You can’t just autopilot through your entire life. I definitely tried that. How harsh of me!

I am so human (surprise, surprise). I get discouraged, I get jealous. I need pep talk, I need attention and tenderness from other people. I need reward to motivate me. I am often terrified of failure, of not meeting my potential.

I need to treat myself as if I am a kid (because deep down I am!). I need to hold her hand while going through all this. All this doing and sleeping and eating and meeting and stressing and rejoicing.

I am not a machine. I am just me. Nothing more, nothing less. I will change over time but there will be things that remain through it all.

Someone once said, people don’t love you for your supposed perfection but they love you for your humanity.

I asked myself what that meant for me. Certain character “flaws” actually draw people towards you. I know what mine is. I don’t quite want to mention it here because it might lose its magic when I openly acknowledge it but I used to regard it as something to be eradicated. But after I realised that it probably makes me more likeable I just let it be. It was a freeing experience.

Anyways, there goes Day 2, written first thing in the morning. I have uni, last week of semester, still got a lot to do but I feel content and look forward to doing some work.