It’s delicate

Surrounded by acquaintances, friends, family and love interests, and yet..

To the question ‘Why is it never enough?’ lies a futile answer.

There is within me a secret chamber. 

It’s the source of all the vacuous feelings that often engulf me.

I was vaguely aware of this in the past, now it is a resounding gong. Its echoes tightly bind my hardened heart.

To open the doors of the chamber is terrifying. To have to face whatever is within it also. To open it up for others to catch a glimpse of it, is out of the question.

It seems that what I need, I don’t want. What would make my conscience barren, I desire. 

The starkness of this contradiction is beyond the boundaries of ironic beauty. 

The echoes will come and go but the this gong of mine is a permanent fixture on a fragile corner somewhere in my heart.

I know of this and I say I accepted it. Nonetheless the gong bothers me time to time.

The Echo is fading. Another day is coming. It’s time to retire and fall asleep to the faint ringing.

Then, I’ll awake and do the things I do.

Don’t look back. Look forward. Don’t turn, walk straight. But this time, I’ll decide the destination, whatever the consequence may be.