Nice and Disturbing

This lady that I knew, she was married to a man that was almost 30 years older than her. From what I heard and saw, it was a love marriage. I knew them to be childless for a few years. I figured maybe, it was their choice, because neither of them were young. I think the lady was in her 40s or something like that.

I was visiting the town that she lives in for work a few years later and I saw her on the street. She was very pregnant. Almost due. I said ‘hi’ and we started talking. I just can’t forget the uneasy feeling. I saw how happy she was that she and her husband were having a baby, but there was something in the air between us, a wistful air of mutual understanding that there’s a real possibility that the baby would at some point, before he/she comes of age, will probably become fatherless. To know of a definite pain and suffering that is on its way and to still be able to celebrate life is so ironic. That’s what parents do all the time I guess? After having been through life up until a certain point, having been through storms, they still decide that it is a good thing for a baby to be born and have a life in this world.

I don’t know. That interaction left quite an impression on me. I felt the joy and the looming pain at the same time. It was so ironic. I feel like this all the time though. I see it in all sorts of things. It’s nice sometimes but other times it’s kind of disturbing. Nice and disturbing.