When was the first time you really felt like a grown up (if ever)?
When I was confident that my future self will do the things that needs to be done.
Like I knew I had a lot to do but instead of worrying I trusted that I will get it done. Because I realised, looking back, I did get things done so far to a certain required standard and that is why I am here in the first place
I’m not saying it always goes right but most of the time, when you have a plan and then you execute the plan, tweaking the plan as needed, you generally get to at least around the general area of your target goal. And then you can if you have time and energy left, try again to fine tune your course to arrive at exactly where you wanted to be.
This is not easy. But I have the will so I will just keep trying.
Yesterday I was in the elevator and thinking as you do, having the most profound thoughts as you ascend/descend the hollow tube. I was a little bothered by a seed of doubt that what if I amount to be all words and no substance?
I wanted to have substance. I want to be substantial. I want to have something to offer to the world. That is one thing that I am sure that I want.
I can get caught up in ideals like this sometimes. But the point is, I stopped the doubt right then and there ( yes in the elevator..) because I decided I can rely on this desire to get me going. Like this long black that’s gunna get me through this morning, the desire in my heart will get me through this life.
Ilamnyuh 
Leave a comment