It is so nice to just rest. It felt like I never had time to rest the past few months. I was always on the go, always had something on the to do list and even if I was ‘resting’ my mind never seemed to have any rest. The saddest part is, I wasn’t even working on something extra, I was just merely trying to live. Cooking, laundry, commuting, exercising, work, all that stuff. Just normal stuff but that was what kept me busy. Anyways even though I will still be doing all these things (and I want to! don’t mistake me I’m not complaining) I have some time off now. How nice, a day-off feels. How nice.
I woke up early to go to the Sunday market. When I went there, there was only 3 or 4 stalls, one of them a coffee place, the others, some painting and jewellery stalls. I was so hyped on the way there, and then I got majorly disappointed when I arrived. I think I was a bit too early, even though the market was supposed to have started by then. I was sooo looking forward to getting a freshly baked pastry but that didn’t happen. Then I went grocery shopping which was the next on my list. It wasn’t even 10am and the supermarket was packed. I saw a lot of families. Mums and Dads. It’s pretty difficult to cook even for one, I wondered how these parents do it as I peaked into their carts.How do they have time? and how will they make sure their kids and themselves eat healthy?? It takes a lot of effort to eat healthy. But on top of that, having kids to feed and a job and everything else. How?!
I’ve digressed . Anyways I bought the groceries and also picked up a soft pretzel from Pak’n Save. I must say I was pleasantly surprised because I wasn’t expecting much but I imagine it was as good as the pastry I would have eaten at the Market this morning. Served with a generous knob of butter, and coffee. Just a perfect sunny Sunday morning.
I told my mum how happy I am to just chill and rest today. And she said something like ‘You eat and you rest and then recharge to go back to work and that is life’. And I don’t know, that made me think about the cycles of life.
I know what it feels like to not have any obligations (at least for a short while). It feels great at first, and then it kind of slowly kills you. I was so glad I discovered that doing nothing or having nothing to do is not a good thing. I guess it was my secret dream before my realisation. I dreamt of having absolutely no obligations and nothing to do. I equated that with freedom. But no, I think I was wrong.Now I value the burdens I carry. We all carry our own load. I like that I have some things that I’m obliged to do. I like waking up in the morning and having somewhere to go to even if it is work that I don’t like. I know one day, I won’t be needed any where, and that is also fine, that’s how life is on Earth. But now, I have work to do. I’m young and healthy and I know soon I won’t be so young, and it’s entirely possible that I get very ill anytime. So yes, I find myself wanting to rest, then after a while I want to work. When I work, I want to rest again. I don’t want either of them to continue forever. I love spring, but I don’t want it forever, I want summer, autumn and winter as well, but also not forever. We are born, only to die less than a century later. We work, so we can rest. We rest so we can work. Such a peculiar thing, life.
Anyways I’m going to be resting for a few days. I will see friends, I will eat some unhealthy but delicious foods, I will work out so I can eat more, go cycling, enjoy the sun and I will try to read some books. All I wanted to say was that I’m just happy to rest. That’s it.
Bye!
Ilamnyuh 
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