Immersing in life

My disinterest and apathetic attitude toward the world was genuine to some degree but also, there is a sense of defence and self protection involved. I was worried sometimes because I thought nothing in this world will give me joy and I will be bored of my job, of my relationships, the things to come in the future. I was really worried that something has gone wrong with the way I think that I cannot enjoy those natural events of life. But today I feel that such attitude, such thought patterns maybe due to the fact that I didn’t live my life fully. I didn’t. Unless I live it, unless I immerse myself in the highs and lows of life, unless I get out there with no fear of rejection, failure and hardship, and live my life as it is given and planned, I won’t know the joys of life. I won’t.

As an outsider looking into a situation, everything seems infinitesimal because you are not invested in it. This was what I was doing. looking in from the outside, looking for things to do. I won’t know it unless I do it. I’m going to quit being an observer. I will be a part taker and I will welcome the failures and the hardships of life with both arms wide opened as I will do with success and achievement, because both are essential in giving meaning to the Joys of life.